Its Ok if You Dont Know What to Feel

"He who deliberates fully before taking a stride will spend his unabridged life on one leg." ~Chinese Proverb

Here's the thing: I don't know what to do.

Most this thing, virtually that thing. Nearly big things and small things.

About anything.

Actually, to be honest, even the smallest thing seems big when I don't know what to do about information technology. The state of "not knowing what to practice" is similar some kind of Miracle Abound for small things in my mind.

This is non a new affair. Not knowing what to do is a item and well-honed talent of mine. I tin even juggle several not knowing what-to-dos at once.

For example, at the moment I don't know whether to become away with my friends this weekend or not. And if I do will I take the railroad train? Or get a elevator?

I don't know whether to take that new chore. And if I do, when should I beginning it? What most all those other chore offers that will alluvion through the door the minute I say yes to this i?

I don't know whether to start the diet tomorrow. Or today. Or next week. Or not at all. I don't know whether to call my counselor or ride this i out alone.

I don't know what is best, what is right. I don't know what I want to practise.

Do you know what else I don't know? I don't know what to exercise near not knowing what to do.

And whenever I experience like this (which is not always, but frequently), I start not knowing what to do well-nigh things I did know what to exercise nigh earlier. Things I had already fabricated decisions on, things I felt excited and sure about before, now feel wobbly and wrong. Even though I know the decisions felt right when I made them.

My encephalon starts questioning it all: What if I didn't actually know what to practise then either, and just decided on something that wasn't really the right thing to do after all? What if it turns out to be "wrong"? What if I acted on impulse and didn't call up it all through properly?

It's like I'yard mourning all the other possible options that volition never, ever happen at present because I didn't choose them.

The piddling voice in my head chides me: If you lot choose option a, then such and such might happen, which could lead to x and so that may hateful y. Had I known in the outset most y, maybe I wouldn't have chosen that original affair. Or would I? How practice I know?

And this incertitude, the worry, the feet, the non knowing, information technology isn't picky. It doesn't simply stick to the thing I'1000 not sure most. Information technology leaks. It seeps into everything else, and so instead of feeling uncertain or anxious nearly one thing in item, almost one decision specifically, I feel anxious, uncertain, and worried total stop. I forget what started information technology. I simply feel information technology.

I feel it in my chest, nearly my eye. In my throat. It feels similar guilt, muddled with regret, with overtones of panic and an undercurrent of fearfulness. It feels hard and common cold, like a vice-like grip.

And I don't like information technology. But I just don't know what to practice about information technology. And so I practice cypher. Except worry and be anxious that doing nothing is not the right matter to do. It's exhausting, it's frustrating, and it's totally and utterly unproductive.

And the only thing that makes it stop? Is to but decide and exercise something. To just practice anything.

And the simply way to know what to do? Well actually, there is no answer to that i.

Other than to not worry about worrying. To not feel anxious about feeling anxious. To accept that there is no right answer.

To breathe. To try to feel beyond the worry, to effort to feel the answer rather than (over) think it.

To stop trying to second-judge every possible event of every possible decision. To cease trying to control and account for every accountability. It only isn't possible.

To trust.

I can't know what will happen. I can't know how I will feel nearly whatever of it. I can't know whether the decision I make is any better or worse than whatever other decision I could have made considering I am simply ever going to experience the ane path I do choose.

So I tin can but react with what I have, what I know, and how I feel, correct here and right now. And I don't need to know how to exercise that; I merely demand to practice it. I only need to allow it to happen.

Back to my decisions. Well, I still don't know what to do. I still don't know what the "right" thing is.

But maybe that'south not and so much of a problem after all.

Considering I do know what the incorrect affair is. And that'south to brand no conclusion at all. Even if the decision I make is not to determine just yet—that is still a decision. Own it.

A friend in one case said to me, "Whenever the time is right, it will exist the right time." Information technology helps me relax about my decisions.

I frequently wonder: Am I the only i like this? I don't know that either, but if you lot're with me:

Stop thinking it through. Stop making upwards what might happen. Because that's what's happening here, you're just making it upward. But make the decision instead and bask the ride. Whatever information technology turns out to exist, information technology doesn't really affair—you can modify it later if you actually accept to.

Whatever the decision is, just make it. What's the worst that can happen, actually?

Just make the decision and and so be glad you did. Enjoy the freedom and the relief that follows.

Enjoy the nowadays, indecision free. Because while you're busy worrying nearly what might happen tomorrow, estimate what? Y'all're missing out on all the great stuff happening today.

And so just make up one's mind. But relax.

Desire to know the good news? The decision thing is only as leaky equally the indecision thing.

Once I become going over again, I know there'll be no stopping me. I'll breeze through decisions that floored me before. I'll put those small-scale things back in their place. And if it feels wrong, I'll modify information technology. I won't worry about it. Things that felt a flake wrong and weird before just won't matter anymore.

I won't know where this whole confident, conclusion making thing came from. I'll just feel information technology.

I'll feel it in my chest, near my heart. It will feel similar contentment, embracing joy, amused with peace and flavored with lightness. Information technology will feel soft and warm, like molten honey trickling through my veins. Information technology will make me grin.

And I will love information technology. And I will do all I can to agree on to it.

That I do know.

Then let'southward only get started. Let'south but relax. Permit's but decide. And let's never wait back.

Photograph by J. Tegnerud

About Emma While

Emma is passionate about positive psychology, avidly learning and applying its lessons to her life and piece of work. Her own personal journey through stress, growth and discovery inform both her ChattingHappy weblog  and The Happy Catalyst facebook page with the hope of spreading happiness to others, one spark at a time.

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Its Ok if You Dont Know What to Feel

Source: https://tinybuddha.com/blog/what-to-do-when-you-dont-know-what-to-do/

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